Tashkent Here I Come!

Posted on August 25, 2011March 20, 2013 by Paul

What do Ralph Dibny, Jimmy Olsen, Eel O’Brian, and Skizzle Shanks have in common? Yes, comics fans, they are indeed all endowed with super stretching powers as Elongated Man, Elastic Lad, Plastic Man, and Malleable Man. Yes, they were all members of the Elastic Four.

But what’s their most important attribute? They would all do great in the Foreign Service because they are so damned flexible!!

Yes, that’s right, our plans have once again changed. First though, I’m happy to announce that Kirby is cancer free! He recovered like a champ and he and Tyra are currently in boarding. Now we just have to see whether or not Hurricane Irene shuts down all flights on Sunday, thus trapping them here for yet another week. Seriously, it’s like god isn’t even trying to hide the fact that he’s screwing with us now. He reeeeally doesn’t want our dogs going to Uzbekistan.

In the meantime, I’ve decided to cancel my trip to Dallas for my niece’s Bat Mitzvah. It was a great idea, but it turns out moving to a different country is pretty hard. Lisa’s been a trooper on her own there for the last week. However, the idea of having her face all those challenges on her own for another month just doesn’t feel right. Plus, of course, I miss her. Also, I’m ready to finally get this adventure started. So, after much consideration, I’m heading to the airport tomorrow and I’ll be in Tashkent by Saturday night. That is, if things actually go according to plan. Sorry Benjamin family and Austin peeps. I’ll miss y’all!!

One of the biggest challenges in booking my flight has been finding out whether or not my bags will be checked through to Tashkent. When Lisa went, we thought we needed to follow her starting airline’s baggage guidelines. Turns out she had to get off the plane in Frankfurt, get her bags at baggage claim, go through customs, stand in line for ages only to find out her bags were over the highly restrictive Uzbek Air weight limits (a single bag at 44 lbs plus a 12 pound backpack). She had to get approx. $650 worth of Euros at an ATM then go to another window to pay for her extra baggage. Everyone at the embassy was shocked. No one else travelling this year has had this issue.

My flight is on a different airline, but every time I call I get a different answer. I’ve called six times and spoken to six different representatives. Three have said that there is no baggage agreement between Lufthansa and Uzbek Air so I’ll have to do what Lisa did. Three have said there IS an agreement and my bags will be checked through. I decided to hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Today I packed up one of my big suitcases and Metroed over to a UPS store. I shipped the suitcase to our personal diplomatic pouch address in Dulles, Virginia. It’ll take about three weeks to reach Tashkent, but I only had to pay $35 or so for shipping it in the US. I’ll still have some overweight luggage fees if I have to recheck my bags, but it’ll be much less than if I had both my big suitcases in Frankfurt. We’ll just see what happens when I check in for my flight.

In addition to my big move, I’m starting a new editing gig. I can’t talk about it yet, but I’m looking forward to telling y’all more soon. There’s also a twenty hour a week job at the embassy that might be interesting to me. I’ll find out more when I get to post. It could be cool to work in the embassy and still have plenty of time for writing, editing, and supermodeling. For now, I’m off to do some writing on a spec project. Zeus willing, my next blog update will be from Uzbekistan!

Dog Days in DC

Posted on August 12, 2011March 20, 2013 by Paul

As promised, here’s the continuation of my previous post. If you’re just joining us, Lisa and I were supposed to leave for Tashkent, Uzbekistan (or, as I like to call it, the UZ) just a day shy of two weeks ago. For some unknown reason, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs had not yet issued our travel visas. While stuck in DC, we stayed with friends (Thanks, Erin and Rob!) until Lisa’s per diem got reset, then moved into a hotel while Lisa went to work at Main State on the Uzbekistan desk. Well, on Friday our visas came through!! That means we’re about to hop on a plane, right? Not so fast.

See, while we were making plans, Hermes was laughing. I know the quote is usually about “God” laughing but Hermes is the Greek god of travel so this seems more up his alley. On Tuesday August 2nd, the day we were supposed to leave for our two year tour, we couldn’t wait for those visas to be issued. Aside from having to find a new place to live, every day was costing us money because our dogs were in boarding, waiting for us to leave so they could fly to the UZ. Further complicating this issue is the fact that the only flight they can take in the heat of the summer is on Uzbek Air every Sunday out of New York. Since the USDA certificate that allows one to export pets into the UZ has to be issued with ten days of their arrival and the paperwork takes several days in transit, that means we need a new vet exam and USDA certificate every week. Basically, in addition to wanted to get to post ourselves, we were anxious because dog logistics were costing us a lot of cash.

Then we got the news that the little growth that had recently surfaced on Kirby’s ear – the one the vet sent out for biopsy during his first USDA exam – is potentially cancerous. We immediately checked with post and learned that veterinary care in the UZ is not capable of dealing with cancer. Just removing the tumor and getting a prognosis would be beyond the basic vet care in Tashkent. Suddenly we went from hoping we could get on a plane immediately to hoping things would take a while so that we could make sure Kirby is healthy.

They say attitude is everything when one lives a Foreign Service lifestyle. Lisa and I knew to expect things might not go as planned, so even though we were frustrated by our delayed departure, we were determined to make the best of it. Finding out Kirby may be very sick was upsetting, of course, but we also saw a silver lining. If we had travelled as originally planned, we’d already have been in Tashkent when we learned about the growth’s potential health risks. We would’ve been watching it for two years, hoping for the best with no way of knowing if Kirby would survive our two years at post. Now at least we have time to take care of him before leaving.

Knowing that it would take a while for Kirby to be ready to travel, I rented an SUV and went and picked up Tyra and Kirby from boarding. The hotel is very pet friendly, one of the reasons we chose it. Last Thursday, I took Kirby to the doggie surgeon and had the growth removed. He was a little drugged out that day and at about 30% of his usual frenetic energy. By Friday he was totally back to normal, except for that one shaved ear. It will take him about two weeks to be ready to travel. If the tests reveal that the growth was benign, he’ll be good to go. Also, if the growth was cancerous but didn’t spread into the rest of his body, he’ll be good to go. How will we know if the cancer spread? On the advice of my veterinarian brother in Dallas, we had the doctor aspirate some fluid from Kirby’s lymph node and hold onto it. If the growth is malignant, they’ll test the fluid to see if the cancer spread. If it is cancer that has spread, we’re pretty much screwed. Doggie chemo and radiation isn’t like it is for people. It might give him an extra year or two, but that’s it. Also, it’s expensive and requires visits to the oncology vet every several months: an impossibility in Uzbekistan. We’ll either have to find someone willing to take on a dog with cancer here in the states or take him with us and enjoy our time together as much as we can. The good news is, he’s only three years old so cancer isn’t the most likely outcome. In addition, his lymph node was tiny. A swollen lymph node means it’s fighting something. Now we just cross our fingers and hope for the best. Here’s a pic of him, so happy to be wearing his awesome headgear so that he can’t scratch at his stitches.

The Cone of Shame!

In the meantime, here’s what we do know. Lisa was supposed to leave for Tashkent today but could not, due to the fun of State Dept. red tape and flight availability. Now she’s leaving on Wednesday. I’m here for two weeks while Kirby recovers and then waits for a Sunday ship date.

Unfortunately, with Lisa gone I will lose the benefit of her per diem. That means we’ll pay for the hotel on our own. However, my brother the vet says it’s best that I keep an eye on his recovery myself rather than putting him in a boarding facility. The last thing we need is an infection that keeps him here longer.

On the plus side, as long as Lisa’s already having to make the transition to Tashkent on her own, I’m going to stay in the states a little longer. Once the dogs are safely on their way, I’m going to hop on a plane to Dallas and stay with my brother for a few weeks. That way I can attend my niece’s Bat Mitvah! Originally we were both going to miss the the big family event since we would have just moved halfway around the world. However, given the circumstances, I may as well stick around a little longer so that I can see my whole family one last time and be there for Brooke’s big day!!

Next up is most likely a post about how much I miss Lisa. However, I’m glad to have her for an extra day and a half!

Mega Post!

Posted on July 29, 2011March 21, 2013 by Paul

As we prepare to hop on a plane tomorrow for Tashkent, Uzbekistan, I’ve decided it’s time to say goodbye to Washtington DC with a mega post covering all those things I skipped over on this blog during my ten months in our nation’s capital. Prepare yourself for months of DC experiences all crammed into a single post so that I can start with a clean slate in the UZ.

Let’s go in no particular order, starting with Heroes Con. Lots of people have been seeing San Diego Comic Con in the news this last week so here are some pics from my visit to Charlotte, NC’s fantastic, well-run, friendly comics show.

I saw plenty of fantastic costumes at Heroes Con, including this trio of folks inspired by DC characters. No, not Washington DC – DC Comics! It’s rare to see someone who can fill out a Wonder Woman costume or match the physique of Captain Marvel/SHAZAM villian Black Adam, but these people are pulling it off!

Meanwhile, on the Marvel side of things, here’s the lead villain in the (totally awesome) new Captain America film. This guy’s costume didn’t look like a mask at all and let me just say, the real life Red Skull would be creepy as hell!

(Plus, bonus points for having his very own, light-up Cosmic Cube.)

One of the best things about going to a show is talking to fans. It’s great to hang out with people who love comics as much as I do. This group bought some books and spent a lot of time at my table over the two days of the show, sporting super awesome Scott Pilgrim outfits with a Ring Wraith to boot!

I also got a chance to meet some fellow comics creators and find new books. One of the highlights was getting to know the Agreeable Comics team behind “The Lonliest Astronauts” – Kevin Church and Ming Doyle. Kevin is a funny guy and hilarious writer while Ming is a brilliant artist with an awesome Thor costume: one of the few professional comics creators who has the cajones to cosplay at a convention.

“The Lonliest Astronauts” is about a pair of astronauts trapped in space with only each other for company. One of them makes Gilligan look like a MENSA genius. You can read the webcomic by clicking here, starting with the first one.

My favorite costume of all belonged to the daughter of fellow comics creator Tommy Lee Edwards. Tommy is one of the nicest, most talented guys in the business and he’s clearly not uptight about what movies his daughter gets to see. Here she is as Hitgirl from “Kick Ass.”

The ultimate highlight of the show was when this kid and his dad came by the booth to get my autograph on their copy of the G.I. JOE game I wrote. The game has become their number one bonding activity as they spend father and son time together. I got into this line of work because I want to entertain people and this kind of thing makes all the hard work worthwhile!

Meanwhile, back in DC, I attended the two-day security training seminar at the Foreign Service Institute. I learned all about what to do in hostage situation, how to take cover from an explosion, and the number one danger in the Foreign Service: electrical fires! Must be all those US wattage doodads plugged into foreign outlets. Among the items used to illustrate various dangers overseas was this cigar box turned into a bomb. Smoking really can be hazardous to your health!

Did I ever blog about our visit to New Orleans? Everyone else was there for Jazzfest, which was a blast, but our main reason to visit was the wedding of one of our new Foreign Service friends. Here’s a pic of the bride at the pre-party.

And here’s the actual wedding site. It’s a cool jazz hall with its very own tree growing right inside the building! The band was an incredible group with at least ten members including two back up singers/dancers and a horn section.

When Lisa’s public diplomacy class visited DC’s Newseum, I came along for the ride. If you visit DC, be sure to hit the Newseum. Unlike the Smithsonian museums, you have to pay to get in, but it’s worth every penny. In addition to the powerful and moving exhibits on the news surrounding 9/11 and Katrina, there are some fun tidbits for comics fans. The section on the FBI and its deep ties to press coverage shows just how much our romantic notions of being a G-Man were born from pop culture.

I was also pleased to see there there’s also a nod to the Comics Code Authority and its powerful influence on the comics industry, shaping it into the entity it is today.

One of the most interesting exhibits was Freedom House’s visual representation of freedom of the press around the world. Or, in many cases, the lack thereof. On this map, the green represents countries with free press, the yellow is a partially free press and the red shows places where the press is extremely restricted or under government control.

Here’s a close up of Uzbekistan and her neighbors. As you can see, the “Stans” are right in the middle of a sea of red. In fact, Uzbekistan is so high on the list in terms of press restrictions, they’ve nearly reached the level of North Korea. It’s going to be interesting to see what this really means from a day-to-day standpoint once we’re at post.

But Uzbekistan isn’t all about a restricted press. From what I hear, it’s a lovely country with people who are extremely kind and inclusive. Certainly we had a lovely time when we visited the Uzbek embassy in DC for a briefing with the Uzbek Ambassador. The Uzbek embassy is an impressive building that was constructed by a wealthy businessman who died while sailing the seas on the first (and last) voyage of the Titanic. His heirs sold the building to the Canadian government and it served as their embassy for many years until the Canadians moved to a new location, thus making room for the Uzbeks. Here’s one of the many fireplaces in the building, still featuring the woodwork commissioned by the building’s original owner.

There’s also a beautiful piece of carved wood painted to represent the flag and the seal of Uzbekistan. You’ve gotta dig any country that has a kick-ass phoenix as the central image of their state seal!

Several weeks later, we also had a briefing with the ambassador of Kazakhstan at the Kazak embassy. You may only know of Kazakhstan from Borat, but the ambassador is cool with that. He was very funny and brought up Borat himself, saying something along the lines of “Borat got things started for us, and we’re taking over the PR from there.” He pointed out that Borat is really more of a statement about American culture than that of Kazakhstan.

In any case, the embassy has this bad-ass statue out front. Yes, that’s a warrior dude… holding a bow in one hand and a falcon in the other… while standing on a griffin. Seriously, this is not a guy you want to mess with.

Near the end of our first tour in DC, we got a visit from two of my best friends from high school. We spent one day touring the many monuments, including the WWII memorial. Here we are in front of the column representing our home state. Jeff’s only frowning because of the glare. And possibly because it was a grabillion degrees!

But don’t worry, my Texas peeps, we didn’t forget about you! Here’s Lisa with her home state!!

We also made our way over to the MLK memorial, still under construction. It’s already very impressive and the ideals of MLK are beautifully presented by the memorial as a whole (which you can’t see here). That said, I hope I’m not taking away from the legacy of this great man by pointing out that the only way to stop MLK was to freeze him in carbonite like Han Solo!

We also made our way over to the Jefferson Memorial. It’s an impressive memorial and one that I’d never seen in my previous visits to DC because it’s relatively off the beaten path and a bit of a schlep from the rest of the memorials and museums. I have mad respect for Jefferson. Not only was he all about people being created equal, there’s also a quote from him emblazoned just beneath the ceiling that reads, “I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.” That’s right, Thomas Jefferson hated telepaths! Well, not all telepaths, just the ones who use their powers for mind control. Also, freedom of religion and all that stuff is cool.

There was also a visit to Dallas to see my family before we leave the country. My sister’s family flew in from Vegas and I had a blast with my neice and nephews and some family friends at Adventureland! My niece is twelve so she’s not actually in this picture. She’s all mature and stuff and had better things to do.

Before departing for post, we headed out to Haggerstown where there’s a government storage facility full of stuff. This is where all of our belongings went when they packed up our house in Austin. That’s our stuff on the left, right next to the Ark of the Covenant.

Actually, they pulled out all of our stuff. Below is a shot of nearly all of our belongings in the world, including furniture, packed up into six big crates. FYI, half of all of that weight is graphic novels, even after we gave away so many before leaving Austin.

A note for Foreign Service folks: it probably wouldn’t have been worth going all the way to Haggerstown to tell them what to send to post and what to keep in storage if we didn’t need to find something in one of the crates. It’s a long way from DC and in the future we’ll hopefully just be able to look at the inventory and make decisions from there. One interesting thing that came out of our visit though was a discovery that at some point our boxes got out of sync with our inventory. That would theoretically mean that if we said we wanted a box of Lisa’s summer business cloths we might have instead gotten a box of skiing equipment (if we had a box of skiing equipment). However, the man in charge of our shipment knew our inventory like the back of his hand and said he goes through to match things before shipping. He was so on the ball (and super nice), I think he really would have discovered the problem before we ended up with skis and snowshoes in the middle of the desert.

Believe it or not, you’re nearly done reading the MEGA POST!!! I’ll sign off with a shot from the Fourth of July fireworks at the National Mall. I did this twenty years ago and again this year and it’s absolutely incredible to watch the pyrotechnics at the Washington Monument. The Metro getting home afterwards is a nightmare but this is something everyone should do at least once. I know I’ll remember that feeling of patriotism when I’m living overseas and missing all the great things about this country we’re serving on the far side of the world. Say what you will about America, at least you get to say whatever you want!!